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Friday, January 20, 2017

...moments like this...

...
we were in the afternoon naptime hustle. this week, i made sure to get a photo with each kid. i really didn't think they enjoyed it. my camera was still attached to the tripod. as gabe was climbing into bed, he asks,

"mom, can you take a picture of you and me just looking at my lego?"
sure, fella.

just this morning, i took a few extra minutes to actually fix my hair. gianna and i spent a few minutes painting our nails. i have my moments of great mothering, like us all. i also have my moments of utter disgust with myself.

i learned more about myself in the the last two weeks than i have at any stage of my life.
i wasn't always pleasant around them, but i am thankful for their forgiveness. 
a work in progress.
i want them to remember me as trying to be joyful. trying to be the best version of myself. trying to show them how much i do truly adore each and everyone.
the middle of the night croup coughing fits, bathtub cool offs, nursing sessions, and the like had me completely worn after three straight weeks as the virus picked them off one by one. i felt i had nothing left to give them. i would have been so lost with out steve. he truly was my better half.
it was in those moments that gabe whispered to me, "being a mom is really hard work. i love you, mom"
it is. i do too.
...

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